12 Things You Need to Know Before Casual Sex
Oh, the no drama, easy peasy, no strings attached, casual sex. It’s just that easy right? Maybe if you’ve never done it before those are lofty ideals you’ve found yourself with. If you’ve given it a shot you probably know that no drama is rarely the case. It is not impossible to do but often times casual sex can be more complicated than you ever could imagine. To set you up for the best casual sex experience we’ve compiled our top twelve tips to help you out.
1. Set the expectation
Communicating exactly what you’re looking for will help set the stage for a great no strings relationship. By making your intentions clear from the beginning you will save both of you a lot of heartache in the long run. It is not always easy to communicate with someone, especially someone you are still getting to know. By putting your expectations in your dating profile you can help clear up the confusion. Having the talk before having sex will help as well. No one wants to think they are getting into something romantic just to have the rug pulled from under them. Say something along the lines of, “hey before we take things further I want to make sure we are on the same page.” This conversation is so important to have and is great to be able to reference back to if lines get mixed later on.
2. Look in the right places
There are some people that give specific expectations to specific dating sites and apps. For example, some people believe Tinder is for hookups whereas bumble is for people looking for something more serious. The truth is sometimes it can be hard to tell what someone wants on a dating app. A large percentage of people on Tinder are looking for something more so don’t be disillusioned in thinking just because you matched on Tinder means a hook up only is implied. By using a sex app like Lust you can clearly select a filter that reflects what you want. This way there is no confusion.
3. Safety is key
When you are having casual sex you need to make sure you are practicing safe sex. Even if your partner says to trust them regarding health check-ups or contraception at the end of the day this person is a stranger. The only way to make sure you are doing all you can is to take matters into your own hands. It is your responsibility to protect yourself. Use condoms, get check-ups, plan for accidents. Assume the person you are sleeping with has an STI because chances are they do. According to The American Sexual Health Association, one in two people will contract an STI by 25.
4. Feelings might develop
Sometimes sex brings feelings along even if you’ve done all you can to avoid them. If you develop them you need to tell your partner. These feelings will only deepen so to protect yourself the sooner you have these talks the better.
5. Don’t introduce each other to family
Often we find a friend on the couch crying because “he said it was casual but he introduced me to his mom.” Don’t send mixed messages and keep things platonic. Once you’ve come to the agreement that casual sex is all it is try not to cross those lines.
6. Don’t be possessive
If your partner mentions an upcoming date don’t pry into it. You do have the right to revisit the conversation of using protection with others as a way to keep yourself safe. You don’t have a right to be nosey or ask for details.
7. Spare your partner
That being said don’t flaunt other hookups or relationships in your partners face. Don’t lie about what you’re doing if it comes up but do your best to keep other romantic interests private. If one relationship is becoming serious let your casual partner know sooner than later.
8. Be picky with who you pick
Picking the right person can make all the difference. We recommend not picking a really good friend. These relationships can often get messy and losing a best friend is not worth all that. Pick someone that seems very independent and like they have other options. You don’t want a stage 5 clinger on your hands.
9. Keep the hookups light
Don’t plan a whole date night if hooking up is the only goal. We are big fans of the afternoon delight. Schedule a midday lunchtime hookup to keep things easy breezy. You don’t need to go to dinner, get drinks, or plan an activity. Head for the nearest bed or back seat and have fun.
10. Date others
The best way to avoid catching the feelings is to keep your options open. Just because you’re sexual needs are fulfilled doesn’t mean you should lock down your dating game. If you’re only hooking up with one person that one person could begin to feel very important.
11. Set and stick to your boundaries
If you’ve made boundaries of no overnighters stick to them. It’s easy to get sleepy after sex and want to curl up and pass out but this will only send mixed messages to your partner. If you are flexible on these boundaries your partner might begin to think others are negotiable too. Set boundaries early and hold to them.
12. Keep things private
Don’t make your hookups the talk of the town. There are many people that still frown upon casual hookups. Save your reputation and your partners by keeping it on the low. Especially if you are dating other people in the area new romantic interests might be turned off if they hear you have a friend with benefits. Keep your hookup between you and your partner, don’t share the details with your friends. Good friends with benefits relationships are based on trust and respect don’t lose that with your partner.
Be safe. Be honest. And have fun. You can learn so much about your sexuality and yourself through a casual sex relationship. Use the tips about to keep it happy and fun for both you and your partner. Practicing communicating through difficult conversations will benefit all the relationships in your life. Now get on Lust and get matched fast!